The White House’s most passionate music critic, Sean Spicer, inspired the internet to rewrite history when he attempted to explain inauguration crowd sizes using what Kellyanne Conway called “alternative facts.” We’re not sure if Spicer is familiar with Courtney Love the way he is with Daft Funk and their no-good, totally immature helmets. But those who do know the Hole singer’s story are very much enjoying the 100% alternatively true biography she wrote to troll the Trump administration on Sunday.
“My name is Courtney Love, I was born with that name in 1992,” Love tweeted along with the hashtag #alternative facts. “I mostly remind people of Grace Kelly or Jackie O. with my manners and polish….” Subsequent chapters in her alternative autobiography involve going to Yale, majoring in Japanese history, discovering trap music, learning fluent Greek and Latin, and abstaining from any and all illicit substances.
The (hopefully) forthcoming memoir has already received rave reviews from Love’s daughter Frances Bean. We like to think that her dear friend Carrie Fisher — a powerful symbol of the resistance both in life and in passing — would be equally proud.
my name is Courtney Love, I was born with that name in 1992 #alternativefact
— Courtney Love Cobain (@Courtney) January 23, 2017
I mostly remind people of Grace Kelly or Jackie O. with my manners and polish…. #alternativefact
— Courtney Love Cobain (@Courtney) January 23, 2017
I’ve NEVER done any drugs in my life nor have I ever swore in public nor smoked a cigarette #alternativefact
— Courtney Love Cobain (@Courtney) January 23, 2017
I went to Yale and majored in Japanese history and I love trap music #alternatvefact
— Courtney Love Cobain (@Courtney) January 23, 2017
I have perfect pitch and the general consensus is that my vocals sound like an opera trained singer Rene Fleming perhaps #alternativefact
— Courtney Love Cobain (@Courtney) January 23, 2017
I am schooled in the classics and speak Greek and ancient Latin fluently #alternativefact
— Courtney Love Cobain (@Courtney) January 23, 2017
I am 5’2″ and my measurements are exactly the same as Marilyn Monroes at her prime #alternativefact
— Courtney Love Cobain (@Courtney) January 23, 2017
Credits
Text Hannah Ongley
Photography David LaChapelle
Styling Patti Wilson
Hair James Brown
Make-up Mally Roncal
[i-D, The Insider Issue, No. 236. October 2003]