Women are being phased out of the Oscars in favour of cheaper, cardboard replacements — or so it would appear in a new image released by the Academy on Tuesday. Taken at the Oscar nominees luncheon in Los Angeles, the annual “class photo” is traditionally comprised of nominees for the following month’s ceremony, and this year features Saoirse Ronan, Daniel Kaluuya and Timothée Chalamet in attendance. While the image clearly shows 126 men, a thorough investigation by i-D has revealed only 46 women — one of which is a cardboard cutout.
The cutout in question appears to be that of French director Agnès Varda, nominated in the Best Documentary category for her film Visages Villages. As the oldest nominee in the history of the awards, her replacement has prompted fears that the Academy may have accelerated its plan to make significant changes to its membership — meeting a commitment to at least doubling the number of cardboard women by 2020.
“The Board is no longer sitting back on the issue of cardboard replacements,” said Academy Cardboard President Carrie Gated¹, in a completely not-fictitious statement². “Cardboard women are cheaper, take up less space and, in today’s climate, make the male nominees feel more at ease. It just felt like a no brainer.”
It is yet to be announced what will happen to the cardboard women at the end of awards season, with one anonymous source citing “shredding down for animal bedding” as one of several options being discussed. All attempts by i-D to reach Cardboard Agnès Varda³ for comment have, so far, been met with a prolonged and rigid silence.
¹take a moment over that one
²reader, it was fictitious
³can you even believe we missed the chance to say “Agnès Carda”!?