I was recently sitting on a panel at The Representation Project’s #DisruptTheNarrative: Global Youth Leadership Summit in San Francisco, when its founder and CEO Jennifer Siebel Newsom asked me if I’d ever been stereotyped. I looked out at the audience of youth activists to talk about how to overcome limiting gender norms and change culture. They gave me the strength to tell my truth.
My answer: yes. I was 16 when I started modeling. I may have been in GQ at that age but that didn’t mean it was easy. I had this go-see with a website (I won’t name names) that was big for models. I met an editor there and she said, “I really like your look but there are two things about you that I don’t think will work. First of all, your nose is a little off. I don’t think that photographers like Patrick Demarchelier and Steven Meisel will like that. And the second thing is that designers don’t like male models to be feminine.”
Now, I love fashion and I don’t care what other people think-if it makes me feel comfortable, I’m going to wear it. That day I was probably wearing five-inch heels and the whole nine. Agents and people like her used to tell me that I should go to castings with a white shirt, jeans, and a skateboard. But I never did that. I don’t skateboard and I’m not going to carry one around to prove that I’m a guy. I’m not going to do push-ups to try to look like every other male model. That’s not who I am.
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I used to be scared walking into castings because all these men had these huge chests and shoulders and I’m not built like that. I was always the shortest one in there. But you know what would happen? When I would walk into the room, the whole place would go silent. Every male model would just watch me. They watched me walk because I have a fierce walk. And when I left the room, I would look back and they’d all still be looking.
So I certainly didn’t look like some dude with a skateboard and I wasn’t typically masculine enough to meet some people’s idea of what it means to be a male model. But they were wrong. I’ve nailed it, appearing everywhere from Vogue to W to i-D, not to mention being the global face of Kenneth Cole and AXE. Hell, I was even the male lover in Lana Del Rey’s “Tropico.”
And I was able to do it because I’m different, not in spite of it. I figured out how to love who I am and surround myself with friends and family who love me, too. And while sometimes it’s hard to do, you’ve got to try. That’s what was so great about The Representation Project’s #DisruptTheNarrative Summit- it brought together kids from all walks of life and taught them how to push back against gender bias while staying strong and true to themselves.
The Representation Project is building a movement to support everyone who’s ever been told they shouldn’t be who they are, they shouldn’t love how they look, they shouldn’t embrace their whole selves. We’re challenging and overcoming limiting stereotypes, gender norms, and social injustices. You should join us.
Let’s all cheer together when the first woman becomes President of the United States (haters-come at me) or when we see black athletes dominating Olympic events like swimming or gymnastics when they were nearly invisible in them a few years ago.
And let’s not stop there — let’s challenge the status quo and ourselves and get a little uncomfortable. When you see something racist or sexist or hateful, call it out. And while it may be uncomfortable, it’ll definitely be worth it. There could be a thousand voices saying you should be this way or act like that, but if your soul is right and you’ve found your tribe, you don’t have to listen. You can get off autopilot, stand up, and represent what you care about. Because we are the most alive when we’re uncomfortable.
Join the movement by signing up to be a Youth Rep.
Related: Listen to the amazing new voices in gender activism
Credits
Text Shaun Ross
Photography Azha Ayanna