Nicolaia Rips is 17. Her pillow-like cheeks scream it. But her age slips easily from readers’ minds when they are immersed in her memoir Trying to Float. Trying to Float is filled with the pinpoint descriptions and humor of Lena Dunham and the children’s book Eloise. In it, Nicolaia examines her wonder years with the clarity of an old soul who’s seen it all. Set in two worlds — that of New York’s fabled Chelsea Hotel and the pimpled awkwardness of youth, the book details Nicolaia’s daily shifts between these spheres, which often leave her on unsure footing. Her princess-themed sleepovers are crashed by New York legends and lovable junkies. And it’s Nicolaia, as a toddler, who secures her spot at the city’s top preschool by pretending to be perfectly potty-trained. Then, there’s the pleasure of having artists as parents. (Rips’ father is a sometimes-writer, and her mother is a sculptor and painter.)
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Nicolaia never blames the weirdness of the Chelsea Hotel for her difficulty in making friends her own age. Instead, she says, it kept her afloat. Our dreams of a bohemian childhood were her life. The Hotel Chelsea — that’s its proper name — was built in the 19th century as a utopian commune with socialist ideals. Later, it became a place of cultural rebirth. The ghost of Sid Vicious is said to roam the corridors. Arthur Miller stayed here, in room 614, after Marilyn Monroe divorced him. Bob Dylan wrote “Sara” in 211. Janis Joplin went down on Leonard Cohen in room 424. Most famously, Andy Warhol shot scenes of Chelsea Girls here. Nicolaia discovered her own voice only a few floors away from Madonna and Ethan Hawke.
But don’t get too caught up in the oddities of her life. Nicolaia’s writing proves that our experiences are both our own, unique, but also shared, regardless of where we grew up. She’s currently working on her second book while finishing her last year in high school.
When did you write Trying to Float?
The journaling started when I was in sixth grade. I was always encouraged to write everything down — my feelings, and all these things that happened around me. My father’s a writer and as it’s his favored mode of self-expression, he encouraged it to be mine. By the end of eighth grade, I had all these stories, and for an end-of-semester project in eighth grade, I mashed it all together into a very thin book that was the precursor of the book I have now.
Wow. So you began this when you were 11 years old.
It was an interesting process because I started so young. One year, my voice and a story would be fine, but the next year I’d change everything because it didn’t sound like me anymore.
You evolved.
Yes! I think, too, I had a tremendous amount of support. From my dad, my agent, Nicole Aragi. I honestly think anybody can do this! Especially if you have no friends. [Laughs.] It’s a great way to make a dreary time productive. This was a way for me to tell stories and communicate to people when, literally, there was no one there — no one who was interested.
Who inspires you?
My favorite writers are P.G. Wodehouse and Oscar Wilde.
How was it growing up without friends your own age? Were you bullied?
I think for most of grade school, I wasn’t bullied. It was so much worse — I was ignored. As much as I repelled people, I feed off social interaction. I crave connecting with those around me.
Why do you think other kids ignored you?
Well, my grandmother liked to say, “You’re an old soul.” I grew up in this adult world, and early on I had to find my place in it.
That’s where you fit in?
Yes. The Chelsea Hotel. Around people like Storme [a character in her memoir]. Most of the people I grew up with were people who did not conform to things like race, gender, stereotypes of any kind. Storme really personified the hotel and being out of the box.
Some of the most interesting parts of Trying to Float include your youthful perceptions of gender and the limits it places on people.
Yes. The Cinderella [ideal], princesses, everything pink. This idea that girls are supposed to be pretty and girly is sold to women everywhere. Going shopping for toys, it’s all you see. They’re all Barbies and they’re perfect.
And your mom, Sheila Berger, graced Vogue covers as a model.
Yeah, I really envied her, always covered in paint, in overalls, and still pretty. As a kid, I was so gawky.
You’re so open about your struggles.
I think openness is a good thing. I’m lucky I had parents who encouraged me to be EXACTLY who I am. It was so much, though. As a kid, I was desperate. I don’t want to say I repelled people, but I was bossy, obstinate. Disquietingly open. I’m a natural observer and I wanted to share what I saw. I had all these ideas of how things worked and who people were. Kids don’t like that. They are still figuring out who they are, and me being confident enough to share who I am didn’t help. They lashed out. Kids in general are mean, and they don’t understand how it hurts people, or they do understand how it hurts people, but not how it affects people. The lasting damage.
Is that a message you want to share, even beyond this book?
I worked with kids in a summer camp [on this issue]. And I’ve known kids who had it worse than me. One was so pessimistic, thinking, “Okay, no one likes me, and this is how my life will always be.” I think my optimism helped me. I always knew if I worked hard and got into this or that school someday, and really did things with my life, people would like me. Someone!
And you’ve found that, too, in high school, at LaGuardia High.
Gosh, I feel so lucky to be surrounded by all these wonderfully creative people who are doing great things, who are curious about the world and committed to being more present.
They’re like the residents of the Chelsea Hotel!
I think the hotel actually readied me for this. As weird as it seems, the hotel helped me. No matter what I had to deal with, I had my old movies to keep me company. It all sheltered me. I always knew I could be anything, and I think that’s the most important thing. For any kid. I want kids like me to know you can always be anything. You can look ahead and go for it.
“Trying to Float” is out now through Scribner.
nicolaiarips.com
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Credits
Text Kristin Huggins
Image courtesy Nicolaia Rips