Erykah Badu disciples have long presumed that their queen has mystical powers, and she is currently proving them correct in the very best way: by offering palm readings on Twitter. Badu started her fortune-telling series by responding to one fan’s request for a reading, saying, “Take a pic of it and let us see.” Whether her insights are 100% correct, only time will reveal. They’re definitely funnier and more sassy than your standard session with a psychic. Granted she has the upper hand, so to speak, when it comes to a cultural authority that most chiromancers don’t possess. If an Erykah Badu palm reading can’t persuade you to clean your room, lay off the porn, or catch the first gay Pokémon, nothing can.
Oddly enough, the neo-soul queen’s powers of foresight were themselves predicted by palm reader Tony Leggett in a fan-requested YouTube video last year. “Interesting hands,” Leggett mused. “She has psychic hands, with potential. Long fingers and long palms show that there’s a spiritual connection somewhere down the line.” Obviously he was referring to the Twitter timeline.
Yes.. It’s coming to me. … Just lost it . I’m sorry. https://t.co/IyRPNGC1Oy
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
Let’s see here… I see many more backwoods in your future. https://t.co/kXXDz0lnNB
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
Hmm ..I’m sensing that you are the “he who is without sin ” they speak of and are fond of casting stones. https://t.co/wYGBw72DTn
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
Hmm. I see a baby in your future if you don’t take them birth control pills. https://t.co/3GrHoAuerr
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
I’m seeing that u will catch the first gay Pokemon … https://t.co/Y1wmjoVvfL
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
You will invent something magical!Click on the following link /purchase my album you see.its all in track 5. Trust. https://t.co/ldgdfGnTI5
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
I see.. Bowling pens… Wait it’s getting cloudy.. https://t.co/t4ovGqastF
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
I’m feeling ..you will soon be out of the “friend zone”.. https://t.co/XnRoXoUCom
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
It’s cloudy. I mean Literally. it’s cloudy. Lots of clouds. https://t.co/Vr9lj4eUcm
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
Recalculating route https://t.co/4A3tHGdnm7
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
According to my calculations you are dead. https://t.co/2TKPVIW6fx
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
You will Live a comfy life with no shits to give. Congrats. https://t.co/CahiK7j2t8
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
I see many children in your future in a weird form today..Like 123 or 124.. I see Netflix and I see..Is that chill? https://t.co/KnHDj2Bpku
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
You ARE the father. https://t.co/y8FrJJV76d
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
I see hos in different area codes https://t.co/RE4lDNb53T
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
You’ve been here before. There is not much you do not know. Purchase Baduism immediately. https://t.co/n1Kl3dhbg0
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
I feel you have a strong left hook. That upper cut ain’t no punk neither. https://t.co/PyyvwwsJbe
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
I feel You are too nice to these Hos. You should start givin these mufukas the bizness. Don’t letm run over you boo. https://t.co/7hQCutfIAo
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
Santa is not real. I’m sorry. https://t.co/lSGXJ8meMr
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
You will Lay off the porn for 2 weeks. https://t.co/0odO8BVuX4
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
Girl if you don’t pick up some of that stuff in that room., https://t.co/Vu50XjFVw8
— ErykahBadoula (@fatbellybella) July 25, 2016
Credits
Text Hannah Ongley
Image via Instagram