1. Vajazzle your va-jay-jay ie. Crystalise your crotch or shave it into your pubes á la Tom Ford for Gucci circa 2003 when this super sexy ad came out.
2. Kiss curl it across your forehead like Twigs on the cover over i-D, or if you’re famous enough sell your head for ad space and shave the logo into your grade one like Kanye West.
3. Tattoos are also for the classy and fabulous, if you’re really dedicated to your fave brand, get the logo tattooed on your sacred temple like Chanel if you’re a girl or Louis Vuitton if you’re a boy.
4. Make sure every inch of your outfit is covered in the logo so everyone knows who you’re wearing no matter which parts are obscured. For this one you can take pointers from Alexander Wang and DKNY.
5. If you want to go more modest however, have it written across the elastic band of your underwear like Marky Mark and Kate Moss. This sells much more than just the brand and in a much subtler way…
6. Adhere to romantic legend and emboss your local lamposts as a symbol of your love. Myth has it that the Duke of Westminster was madly in love with Coco Chanel, which is why you can spot the interlocked C’s of fashion’s first lady next to a swirly ‘W’ on many a Westminster lamppost ?
7. Attract mass appeal by taking one of the world’s most famous logo’s like Coca-Cola and give it a makeover á la Ashish. Top it off with a crown and a plastic bag for life and you’re all set for glittering global domination. Enjoy.
8. Want to go one step further and fast track global domination? Take one of the world’s most famous logo’s like McDonald’s golden arches and don’t just give it a makeover, OWN IT and get served by Moschino.
9. If money burns a hole in your pocket and you can’t save up enough for the real thing, DIY your own. A black marker’s all you need.
10. Emblazon it on your sweatshirt like a chav.
11. Or Kenzo.
12. Draw the eye to your best assets and wear the logo on a teeny weeny bikini like Stella, Carla, Miranda or Cara.
13. If that’s still too much clothing, bare all and just paint the logo on your naked body to cover your dignity.
14. Live vicariously through your pet, like this Gucci rude dog.
15. Create a beautiful cartoon back story to your logo.
15. Or just recreate your logo IRL.
16. Tempt a lawsuit or two and play with words – wear Ballin instead of Balmain, Bucci instead of Gucci or Comme des Fuck Down instead of Comme des Garçons.
17. Sling it across a suggestive purse like this ‘touch my clutch‘ beaut from Sophia Webster.
18. Want really high fashion? Put it on a pill.
19. Reclaim 90s logomania and make like it’s postergirls, TLC. It’s not all about achieving that rarified air of high-fashion, logos are totally ghetto-fabulous too as demonstrated by two of the most exciting brands to recently emerge from the street; Nasir Mazhar and Hood by Air.
20. Silence yourself. Speak volumes with your T-shirt. Take pointers from Jun Takahashi for Undercover spring/summer 14.
Credits
Text Felicity Kinsella
Fashion Director Simon Foxton
Photography Karim Sadli
[The Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes Issue, No. 307, Summer 10]