“Scott,
At a time when you’re incredibly self-conscious; shaving lines into your eyebrows, half heartedly popping Mum’s laxatives and spending most of your time taking photos of yourself on the worlds first ‘camera phone’ (see above) what I’m about to tell you may seem redundant and extremely cliché – appearance isn’t everything, in fact its has no value.
The chiselled cheeks of boys you desire will never be your own, you will battle with emotional eating throughout your life. The world will think you’re gluttonous when you understand it to be more complex. People will remind you at every juncture of your visible addiction and you may never overcome it, this is something that is still unknown to you. Ignore the background noise and own your fatness – other people are more afraid of your naked body than you are afraid of their judgement – once you’ve understood this you’ll be able to become the person you want to be, you will find the confidence and wit to tackle the insults creatively.
Dark clouds will periodically takeover your brain, they will be debilitating and fill you with anxiety – side step them by swimming with old ladies, drinking fizzy water and learning what 7.30am looks like (after a good nights sleep).
Stop shoving your hands in your pockets to limit your gesticulation, there is no need to behave like a man. Masculinity takes up too much space and has only ever-brought bravado, aggression and patriarchy to the table (things you’ll resent in later life), embody your camp and love your limp wrist.
You will find someone to love you for who you are and not what you think you should be – look after each other, pick each other up when the world’s debris throws you off course – one day you’ll be content in each other’s company, you’ll even be allowed to marry each other! Let him sing those stupid songs every morning because your time together is precious.
People will always let you down but you should never lower your expectations of humans, allow yourself to be upset by their actions, sensitivity means you’ll remain compassionate. There will never be enough people at your birthday party but the right ones will always make the effort. Your aunt will never apologise for forgetting to take you to the Science Museum and your hair will always annoy you (at some point in your twenties you’ll embrace its Irish-ness).
Let me assure you that you will find comfort in being an outsider – people will always laugh at your niche wardrobe, effeminacy and size – take solace in the fact you’ve made them laugh! Tackle every piece of homophobia with a “Hiya” and an open palm.
Worrying what the world thinks of you is futile – the painful truth is that you are not that important, let me bruise your ego a little more – the world isn’t paying attention, dear – it never will.
As for taking photos of yourself on your phone – this will never change. However, you will perfect the selfie with an app called Instagram and a filter called Mayfair!
Take the punches, heal the bruises, and laugh loads.
Embrace your weird Scott; be brave enough to be honest.
Now forget everything I’ve told you and live life for yourself!
Scottee. X”
@scotteeisfat
Credits
Text Scottee