We thought nothing could resurrect us after the excesses of Memorial Day weekend. No amount of flavored sparkling water was doing the trick, and moisturizer was sucked into our dehydrated skin like children down the drain in Stephen King’s It. That was until Ansel Elgort went on a selfie spree on Tuesday night, posting 17 separate pictures of himself sans chemise (shirtless) within ten minutes. Also sans his bleached hair, the actor looks rather pensive, perhaps because he’s not starring in a superhero franchise that we can think of, unlike every other thespian under the sun. Consider this his audition for the role of Super Sad Boy, or Chic Villain—he even did half the pictures with slicked back hair, showing you what his alter ego might look like.
Having said that, what if these were never meant for public consumption? They’re kind of awkward and don’t scream “Thor: journey to planet Twink“ (although that is a film we would watch and perhaps even buy on Amazon). Perhaps this is a work of revenge, intended to embarrass him, in which case, that is very wrong, and we will not rest until we have tracked down the criminal who did this.
Elgort’s soon set to star in the adaptation of Donna Tartt’s The Goldfinch alongside Nicole Kidman, followed by Steven Spielberg’s West Side Story next year, so he’s not actually lacking work. Perhaps, however, he’s lacking in publicity for the ‘Finch, thus the public display. We can only hope that Nicole Kidman follows suite with her own expertly poised suite of selfies.