What is the true meaning of Christmas? Is it spending time with your family and loved ones? Is it celebrating your religious beliefs, whatever they may be? It is sleeping on a single bed, under a Care Bears bedspread? Is it spreading joy to others with elaborate presents? No, it is none of those things. Beyoncé, our lord and saviour, has blessed us with the true meaning of Christmas, and it is Beyoncé-themed Christmas merch.
The antidote to ugly Christmas sweaters that your fun uncle will insist you laugh at and wear as you eat turkey, Bey’s “Holidayoncé” range is decidedly modern and fun, with minimalist slogans like “sis the season”, “Beyoncé holiday sweater”, and — my personal favourite — “have a thicc holiday”.
And because she’s Beyoncé, it’s not just sweaters. She’s also released festive phone covers, adult onesies, Lemonade-themed baubles and ornaments, and wrapping paper replete with her “best revenge is your paper” lyrics.
Iconic? Genius? Released just in time for Black Friday? Yes, yes, yes. You can check out the whole range on Beyoncé’s website now. It’s been a long, gloomy 2017, but at least now we can enjoy the festive countdown in style.
Hallelujah.
