You’ve stashed the cava in the fridge and bought some plasticy chocolates with glitter on them. You’ve got your 2 for 1 Pizza Express voucher from Groupon. We get it — romance isn’t dead. Romance is as alive as the little pot plant you’re giving instead of roses because they’re like, so basic (and £20 a pop). Romance! Isn’t! Dead! But how long will it last with you and Ryan? Is it dumpsville for you and Hanna?
You can now press a button to find out. Specifically, the button in Hang the DJ — the episode in the last season of Black Mirror that offered a fairly dystopian view of the future of dating. As if Tinder wasn’t bad enough! In the episode, single and possibly desperate volunteers sign up to a programme/device called the ‘System’. The System measures the compatibility between you and your date, and decides how long the relationship will last. You don’t get any say in the matter — whether you love them or hate them, the length of time you will spend gazing into their eyes is predetermined.
So in the spirit of instilling a really healthy towards V Day the kind folks at Black Mirror (or ‘Coach Dating’ as they’ve temporarily renamed themselves) have made a button for you. Click here, get a code, give it to your partner or your colleague if you don’t have a partner, and click again. Click to commit to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Click this V Day to find out your D Day.
Let’s just hope it lasts longer than that pot plant that’ll be dead in three weeks.
