We can’t bear it any longer. Barely weeks have passed since Ridley Scott wrapped shooting on House of Gucci. Those videos of Lady Gaga pointing her finger in Jared Leto’s face shouting in an Italian accent feel like they emerged just yesterday, or those photos of her and Adam Driver on skis. House of Gucci almost became a movie we’d see in its entirety before the actual release date thanks to sneaky paparazzi, but Ridley has managed to one-up them by dropping the trailer for House of Gucci already. Excuse us, but we’re about to become the most insufferable bitches from now until the movie’s November release.
House of Gucci, directed by Ridley and also starring Al Pacino and Salma Hayek, is based on a non-fiction book from 2001 by author Sara Gay Forden. That book, The House of Gucci: A Sensational Story of Murder, Madness, Glamour, and Greed, recounts the conviction of Patrizia Reggiani — that’s Gaga — for hiring a hitman to kill her husband and Gucci head Maurizio.
The trailer arrived early this morning, giving us our first proper look at the aesthetics and tone of a film that had been described by its director of photography, Dariusz Wolski, as a “high-end soap opera”. From the moment we learned that was the movie’s direction, we were so dangerously and obsessively on board. Lady Gaga with an Italian accent, wearing 80s wigs, playing a wealthy woman with a murderous streak… on skis.
The trailer, set to “Heart of Glass” by Blondie, positions Gaga’s Patrizia as the main character (as she should!) of this 80s luxury fairytale. In it, she’s seen prancing about Gucci stores and family gatherings and nightclubs, acting like the HBIC. Her accent? Camp. We imagine she’s picked it up from spending time with Donatella. Then again, she’s Italian.
Gay culture was founded today, 30 July 2021, at the precise moment we saw Lady Gaga clap her hands together and say “Bravo!” with a cigarette dangling from her lip, wearing a pink suit and her Cheek to Cheek wig. But the real pièce de resistance is the moment that we knew this film would change the course of cinema, history and Catholicism as we know it: when Gaga, wearing polka-dots and a lavish necklace, crosses herself, saying “the Father, the Son and the House of Gucci”.
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