Porn Star. Spy. Jeff Koon’s Muse. Member of Italian Parliament. Mother. Singer. Artist. Am I playing madlibs, or is this the life of multi-hyphaneate Ilona Staller, better known as Cicciolina?
Staller is currently re-releasing her aptly named memoir Memoire. The book takes the reader on a strange and erotic journey through her life in photographs and vignettes, spanning her early years in communist Hungary (she was hired by party officials to spy on enemies), her ill-fated marriage to Jeff Koons (his whimsical 1989 Whitney show, Made In Heaven, features Koons and Cicciolina in flagrante delicato) and her unexpected political career when she served as a member of parliament, championing reproductive rights, prisoner’s rights and animal rights.
In short, Staller is astonishing and provocative, self-infantilized and sensual, boundary breaking and also deceptively earnest. Whatever she does, she does in full; plunging in without the jerky, backwards glances most of us need to see a chiropractor about.
On her website, beneath a perpetually refreshing carousel of her own portraits, Cicciolina greets her “Cicccolini and Ciccioline” with a personal note: the site is managed by none other than Cicciolina herself. She also offers a reminder that her “gadgets” are up for grabs: Memoire (€100 on her website with a lipstick kiss included), a Cicciolina plushie (billed as “the funniest and cutest doll that represents me”), and, also, her underwear.
It’s not just Koons; Staller is also a muse to a whole generation, inspiring everything from Halloween costumes to music—you could make a substantial playlist filled only with songs for and by Cicciolina. She owes that success only to herself. The 73-year-old is a canny image maker, clear in her ability to make something lasting out of nothing—‘Cicciolina’ itself is practically a nonsense word, a term Staller coined that means ‘cuddly’ or ‘pinchable’—and a testament to her dedication to self-creation.
Beyond just being beautiful with blonde hair, luminescent skin, and blue eyes, Cicciolina transcended early on into an icon, equally enhancing and distorting her natural features into something arresting. The Cicciolina character is bigger, larger, tackier, plumper, sexier. The hair is platinum, blue makeup overtakes the sclera creating an artificially blue expanse, her smile tighter and redder. And even well into her 70s, Staller still wears the costume.
Under the flower crown portion of her webpage (well, of course), she writes that she wears a flower crown to feel Bottecellian and then goes on a tangent about the perversity of Catholicism: “In a world that, not only due to the hypocrisy and unnaturalness of Catholicism—polluted by pedophilia and obsessed with sexuality, thus producing a morbid, twisted, and depraved sexuality precisely because it is denied—but also because of the unresolved neuroses of many so-called ‘secular and progressive’ intellectuals, I managed to invent a natural sexuality: exhibited, explicit, spectacular, communicative, symbolic, allegorical, and even commercial, yet ultimately bright, optimistic, youthful, naturist, and therefore, paradoxically chaste, pure, and honest. Because it is true.”
It’s the kind of self-aggrandizing speech that raises eyebrows, but… Staller is completely faithful to these self-imposed principles. Over writing and in-person, Staller speaks in hyperbole: everything she does is IMPORTANT and NOVEL. She’s known for capping her odes with the impassioned declaration, “I love you all.” She’s even offered to sleep with both Vladimir Putin and Saddam Hussein in exchange for peace. She truly straddles the line.
For us monolinguals (myself included), the book is, unfortunately, only in Italian. Despite these linguistic and oceanic barriers, Staller and I took a stroll down memory lane, which resulted in the following interview—both cryptic and bizarre. A fitting tribute to La Cicciolina herself.
I hear you had a massive chess victory! Can you tell me about it?
In July 2021, I took part in a chess tournament in Perugia [to raise money for a cultural center], competing against four very skilled players [and winning against three]. It was exciting to play again after so many years. Love it!
When did you start playing chess?
The game of chess is ancient, and I take great pleasure in playing it. I was 10 years old when, one summer Sunday, my stepfather taught me how to play. It’s a game that requires logic and intelligence.
How did you get into politics?
I ran an election campaign for the Radical Party. Marco Pannella, the party leader, included me on the electoral list as number 49. I won by a landslide, after a colorful campaign. I was elected to the Italian Parliament, where I served a five-year term.
What were your main political priorities?
I proposed several laws. I have been an animal rights advocate all my life. I live in Rome in a beautiful penthouse with large terraces and ten Persian Chinchilla cats. I adore felines—they are my greatest loves. I also proposed a law to allow sex workers to self-manage their profession. I completed the full five-year legislature until 1992. Then, we founded the Party of Love. From 1987 to 1992, I was a member of the Italian Parliament. I proposed around 20 bills.
Who are your role models?
I was born in Budapest, Hungary. As a child, I used to cut out pictures from magazines of Brigitte Bardot, Marilyn Monroe, and Jayne Mansfield. I admired them for their beauty. I promised myself that when I grew up, I would also become a great diva!
What is sexy to you?
Sexy could be the intense gaze from a man.
Sexy could be lying down on a pink bed full of rose petals.
Sexy could also be a unique perfume on a man.
Sexy could also be a miniskirt in all its transparency.
Do you have any big regrets?
Well, all in all, I don’t regret anything from my past life, because my work fills me with so many emotions. I have traveled the world, met so many people, different cultures, and their traditions. That said, I would have loved to have had a big family with many children. But at 40, I met Jeff Koons. I wanted to experience a great love in my life…
How did you meet Jeff Koons?
Well, I was fascinated by the idea of becoming the muse of this great American contemporary artist. We met in Rome and took wonderful, highly explicit nude photographs, which he later transformed into paintings and sold worldwide.
What was your relationship like?
Before long, I was his fiancée, and we married in 1991 in Budapest. I spent my pregnancy in Munich, Germany, and then we moved to New York, where I lived with him and our son, Ludwig Koons, for two and a half years. Ludwig was born on October 29, 1992 at 9:03 p.m. Unfortunately, our marriage ended in a turbulent divorce and legal battles. I returned to Rome, to my penthouse, with baby Ludwig. Jeff later came to Rome to visit Ludwig, but he illegally took him away. He left for New York, committing what was legally considered child abduction.
It was then that lawyer Luca Di Carlo, known as the “Devil’s Advocate,” took on my case. He has defended major drug cartels, the family of Pablo Escobar, La Santa Sede Apostolic, and many others. Luca Di Carlo stated, “Ilona cannot enter U.S. territory to visit her son because she would be arrested. She was accused of international child abduction for taking Ludwig from Jeff Koons’s U.S. residence to Cuba and then Italy. The New York Supreme Court issued an international arrest warrant, labeling her a fugitive. Despite my victories in court, the warrant remains active, and if she were to travel to the U.S., she could be arrested. I have submitted a request to the White House for its revocation, with Donald Trump expected to act on it soon.”
What was it like being a spy?
No comment, sorry.
How did you develop your signature makeup look?
My look was very different in the 1970s. I was somewhat inspired by the flower children. I had a distinctive makeup style, with my reddish eyebrows that perfectly complemented the light blue of my eyes.
And your fashion?
I dressed in sheer fabrics in shades of light blue, pink, and white, and I wore flower crowns of various colors that looked stunning with my long blonde hair. When I walked through the city, I was a visual spectacle for people. In stores, I searched for outfits with white lace bustiers, fishnet lace stockings, high heels, and delicate lace gloves.
I was a living doll—a true beauty. The secret to my great success was that I was a unique artist, completely true to myself. Many tried to imitate me, but as everyone knows, imitations never truly succeed in any field.
Do you consider yourself an artist?
I am a great artist—often called a global icon. A true 360-degree artist. For several years, I worked as a photo model—first as a teenager in Hungary, then in Milan. In 1975, I achieved great success with Radio Luna. From Milan, I moved to Rome, where I began working in film and television.
I was born an artist—I can sing, dance, act, and perform in theater. I have recorded and produced 50 beautiful songs in Italian, English, and Spanish. In the 1980s, I signed an excellent contract with the record label RCA, with whom I released two LPs and several 45s. I love everything related to art—I even paint colorful paintings. I have walked the runway for several fashion designers, including Jean Paul Gaultier and Egon von Fürstenberg.
What’s next for you?
I am still an active artist today, with many TV appearances, nightclub shows, and reality shows in Italy and around the world. Now, I am looking for a new record label to release my new songs. I am also working on a film about my life story and searching for a major film production company to bring this dream to reality.
How would you describe your life?
I have lived a fantastically unattainable life—beautiful, yet impossible for others to reach.