I didn’t even realise how brutal battling my body was. I couldn’t understand why it was changing, or why I couldn’t control it so that it looked like the models I aspired to look like.
From a young age I dreamt of modelling. At 13 I got my lucky break after entering the Elle Girl search for a supermodel. But already, I had begun comparing myself to other models. This meant I was never happy and, in my eyes, never good enough. It didn’t help that I was being told by the industry I was too fat, that I couldn’t fit into the samples on shoots or catwalk shows, subjecting me to humiliation in front of all my peers.
This led to years of extreme diets and exercise regimes to try and change my body. All of which made me unhappy, maybe slimmer for a short period of time but who can actually live off just ham for more than a week? Not only do I now know these diets were physically unhealthy, I’m also now aware that the battle with my body was also mentally unhealthy.
When I’m honest with myself, I know my size or shape was not the problem. My real issue was a lack of self-acceptance. I thought my body was to blame; in my mind, it was why I got dropped from my modelling agency at 15 and therefore, would never make it in the industry.
Finally, after being rejected from numerous top agencies, I tried to become a plus-size model. Again, I was also told my body wasn’t right. I had had enough, and I decided to take control of my thoughts. This shift from letting others determine my self-worth to deciding that I needed to accept my body for what it is and not try to change for anybody else changed my life.
So here are 10 ways I have learnt to love my body over the years…
1. There is no such thing as ‘The Dream Body’
One of the biggest thieves of joy is striving for perfection. It does not exist, and it trains us to think there’s something wrong with ourselves.
2. Instead try focusing on your healthiest body
Those photos of flawless Victoria’s Secret models or Instagram girls that workout for a living, and love a good bit of Photoshop, shouldn’t be your motivation; YOU should be your motivation. Striving for a better, healthier, fitter, and stronger you. That’s achievable and you can set realistic goals and feel great when you accomplish them.
3. Remember that it’s not your body’s fault
Stop blaming your body for all the “no”s or negativity you have in your life. It’s not the reason why he didn’t call you back or why you didn’t get the job promotion. Try to look in the mirror and say, “Thank you, body, you are all mine and you’re my home.”
4. Don’t let anyone determine how you feel about your body
It could be a certain look or comment thrown your way, but the person who made it probably wasn’t judging you. You are judging yourself. Try to remind yourself, “It’s OK to be you. No one else can ever be you, so that makes you very special.”
5. And avoid being around anyone who makes you feel shit
This is pretty self-explanatory.
6. Don’t assume health by size
Health starts from within. I work out and incorporate clean foods into my diet to feel good and look after myself — not to lose weight. I know healthier size 16 women than size 6.
7. Always remember that you are more than…
A number on a scale or the label in your jeans.
8. Celebrate your body for more than what it looks like
Acknowledge all the incredible things your body can do. And start saying, “I can,” and watch how positivity transforms your life.
9. Stop self-deprecating
Nothing good comes from you or your friends comparing and trashing their bodies. Instead, if you encounter any body-bashing, turn it into something positive. The same goes for social media; stop before you post anything that you wouldn’t like someone saying to you. Yes you are entitled to your opinions but if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
10. And most importantly always remember you are meant to be you
Stop thinking you are meant to look a certain way or be like someone else. You are in the best body for you. It is your home and there is nothing more perfect than you, just the way you are. When you start loving your body you will want to look after it and to me beauty is knowing who you are, loving yourself inside out, and ultimately radiating confidence.