Arriving late to a meeting is a fine art. Besides your excuse, the knack to dodging a disciplinary from your boss lies in the audacity of your entrance. Enter meekly and mumble something under your breath about the traffic, and you’ll get a P45 stat. But turn up, freshly brewed Starbies in hand, and you’ll ooze such self-assurance that your boss will probably thank you for even showing up. That is, until now.
These days, that hackneyed act summons only rolled eyes from colleagues and an early performance review. Gone are the days of a plastic or recycled cardboard coffee cup saving your back. Now, you need serious gall, flexing only the glitziest drink receptacles around. Cheugies, listen close.
Fortunately, the SS24 menswear shows have been awash with opulent crockery and containers, bedazzling anyone that dare question your timekeeping. From Fendi to Louis Vuitton, this shift in novelty drinksware has been bubbling away in the background for some time, with examples going back a decade. We’ve seen Jeremy Scott’s AW14 Moschino McDonald’s soda cups, Karl Lagerfeld’s Chanel AW14 iridescent ‘Coco de Lait’ milk carton handbags, and a constant supply of fine china Hermès tea sets since day dot. Now, however, the novelty cups are no longer a novelty, but an essential part of a ready-to-wear offering.
Take yesterday’s Louis Vuitton show. Not only did Pharrell splash the garb with his new digi-camo Damier print (“Damoflage”, as he dubbed it) but also the very heat sleeves of reusable coffee cups. In fact, just hours before, he posted a video of himself at the fittings with an emergency iced-matcha close to hand. The beverage was contained in none other than an LV monogram coffee cup, stylised with marker-pen font that reads “Louis”.
Fashionistas’ reputations as neurotic, sleep-deprived workaholics aside, it’s hard to pinpoint what lies behind this obsession with the caffeinated beverage containers, but his recent menswear campaign goes some way to explaining it. Here, a heavily pregnant Rihanna strides through the city with a rainbow panoply of Speedy and Keepall bags in tow, her right hand clutching a large coffee, decorated with a patterned sleeve. Working mum, holding down one hell of a music career and looking chic simultaneously, all done with another bun in the oven? That’s a hustle. Don’t ask why she’s late.
Of course, even if you ain’t Rihanna, keeping up with the pace of hyper-capitalism demands a constant drip of caffeine, so why not look as hot as your cup’s contents while you’re at it. Versace’s SS23 medusa rhinestone cup designs, complete with a black shoulder harness, might not pay your rent or improve mortgage rates, but at least you’ve got something sparkly to look at to ease your woes. Team it with the miniature espresso ceramics that hung from belt loops, and, you and your friends will probably be well on your way to a caffeine-induced panic attack, at least it’ll look chic.
Sure, it smacks of main-character energy, but that’s the point. Embracing the camp and kitsch is a fine way of handling life’s hardships. Fendi’s SS24 collection, which came with multi-cup holders, is perfect for those looking to attempt some semblance of work-life balance by getting out there, and asking cute colleagues out for impromptu coffee dates. Yes, they’re just accessories, but hold them like your life depends on it – because, in some ways, it does. None of us are getting out alive, but we’d rather go down with a double-F Fendiccino in hand.
Indeed, unless you’re in the top 0.01%, succumbing to ‘stealth wealth’ reductionism won’t change your situation. If anything, the drabness will only make it worse. Instead, lean into tacky, larger-than-life novelties whose purpose is little more than to showboat the cash you work day and night to earn. Want to look expensive? Good. Fretting over whether you look nouveau riche? Don’t. Chances are, you do – and that’s fine. Fashion’s in its entertainment era and becoming more normy than ever. If the people want a taste of the finer things, then the people get what the people want. Populist fashion? Perhaps. Either way, brands have woken up and smelled the coffee.