Masculinity is in constant crisis. From the earliest days of cinema, filmmakers have been enamoured by the plight of man and the evolving ways in which he navigates society. Today, thankfully, their representation on-screen looks beyond the cishet white man we’ve seen so much of throughout cinema history. But filmmakers are also diving deeper within it, to extract and explore facets of culturally ingrained socialisation. While a dark corner of the internet sees influencers violently promote a return to ‘traditional masculinity’ — emotions equated to weakness and vulnerability the antithesis of manhood — thankfully, storytellers can offer alternative perspectives.
Cinema’s male characters may operate in patriarchal landscapes but they present an alternate way of being; boyhood is explored with patient detail; fathers, cowboys and school kids with soft self-awareness. Learning to accept their differences and find a sense of self beyond stoicism, these tales of masculinity help to define our culture as much as they influence it.
Here, we spotlight seven portraits of soft masculinity, each offering a unique perspective of gender.
1. Stand By Me (1986)
Rob Reiner’s nostalgic River Phoenix-starring coming-of-age classic follows four boys in the 1950s on the cusp of adolescence as they go out in search of the corpse of a boy gone missing from their town. However, the real journey of this quartet is internal. Undoing the toxic masculinity passed onto them by their violent and unruly older brothers, they open up about their fears of the future with quiet confessions punctuated by helpless tears. Stand By Me’s odyssey leads them to emotional maturity, learning what it is to comfort another while soothing one’s own wounds within this de facto family.
2. Tomboy (2011)
Céline Sciamma’s seminal French drama is a portrait of expression in youth chronicling Laure, a 10-year-old gender non-conforming child, arriving in a neighbourhood and experimenting with their gender expression. Presenting as a boy, they adopt the name Mickaël; playtime now includes new adventures, like playing football and getting their hair cut. With LGBTQ themes, Tomboy tackles masculinity from the perspective of a child; gender becoming a malleable entity to explore. Spotlighting burgeoning boyhood, it’s a study of the gender politics of the playground that plays out with intimacy and acceptance.
3. The Kings of Summer (2013)
Imagination doesn’t have to be limited to childhood. The Kings of Summer charts three teenagers running away from their dysfunctional homes and making their own world in nearby woodland. Free from chores, parents and responsibilities, Jordan Vogt-Roberts’ comedy-drama captures these adolescent boys attempting to become their own men. Here, there’s a softness to their flawed male yearning.
4. Lean on Pete (2017)
At once an A24 gem, a neo-western and a portrait of American masculinity, Lean on Pete charts the journey of a lone cowboy and his stolen racehorse traversing the wild west. The solitary cowboy is a cinematic staple of masculine bravado in early westerns. However, in Andrew Haigh’s heartbreaking film, the quiet teen (a blazing Charlie Plummer) is soft at the edges and achingly sensitive, existing in the shadow of the cowboy trope. The adults around him try to extract a toughness that the young man doesn’t seem to inhibit. As the two lost souls wander in search of the loving arms of his aunt, he learns empathy is his true strength.
5. Paddleton (2019)
Unassuming but heart-wrenching, Paddleton is a tale of two middle-aged men (Mark Duplass and Ray Romano) facing an unexpected emotional journey. Upon the discovery that one of them has terminal cancer, the misfit neighbours road trip in search of right-to-die medication. Mistaken for a couple but then taking on the committed responsibilities of a partner, in sickness or in health, the pair locate solace in each other. Peeling back grumpy exteriors, in Paddleton, the toxicity of man is swapped out for the gentle, welcome simplicity of men being candid about their feelings.
6. The Last Black Man in San Francisco (2019)
Joe Talbot’s Sundance award-winning film demonstrates that an appreciation of the small things in life goes a long way. A sweeping story about belonging and purpose, The Last Black Man in San Francisco follows best friends Mont (Jonathan Majors) and Jimmie (Jimmie Fails) as they try to renovate a Victorian home the latter’s grandfather built. The film plays like a fable of personal mythology where Black men create a quiet retreat for themselves, rebuilding a city that has seemingly left them behind.
7. Close (2023)
Two boys are running through a flower field under dappled Belgian sunlight, blissfully carefree, before they retire for dinner and fall asleep in each other’s arms. Lukas Dhont’s sobering queer coming-of-ager sees 13-year-old best friends Léo and Rémi at a pivotal time in boyhood. Thrust into the lion’s den of high school, their unbreakable bond becomes brittle when a classmate questions them, asking if they’re together. The pair are left to reconcile their precious connection. In real-time, Léo is shaped by school boys who turn his sweet attitude bitter as the conditions of masculinity are laid out before him. Close is a heartbreaking study of tactile young men grappling with the heartbreak of growing apart and losing each other.
Close is in US theatres 27 January and UK cinemas on 3 March.