America is a very confusing place right now: In an unforeseen twist, Cynthia Nixon — Miranda from Sex and the City — is running for New York Governor. And if that flew over your head too, a) go and buy the DVD box set now, and b) tbt the last time someone off the telly ran for a position of power.
There’s always been a wealth of support behind Miranda, as the most clued-up of the SATC four. The internet meme Woke Charlotte required us to paper over Char’s original Stepford Wife quotes with more enlightened declarations, whereas Miranda “I drink coffee, have sex, buy pies and enjoy battery operated devices” Hobbes, needs no such editing.
Fans are already rallying behind Nixon, and there are ‘Miranda for President’ T-shirts available from your nearest online tacky clothing shop (I guess they can’t really say ‘Nixon for President’).
If only SATC was still going (the series, not the cringingly awful films), we could watch Carrie whine about Big, Charlotte fondle her pearls, Samantha crack wise about baggy ballsacks and Miranda holler about improving the New York subway infrastructure over a plate of tired salad leaves and Planned Parenthood flyers.
But Christine Quinn, the former speaker of the New York City Council, expressed doubts that Nixon could meet the requirements of the job, calling Nixon an ‘unqualified lesbian’, an accusation that might have seemed less bitter if Quinn (a lesbian) hadn’t decided to address Nixon’s sexuality, and incorrectly at that — Nixon has never actually said she is a lesbian, describing herself as bisexual after marrying girlfriend Christine Marinoni in 2012. We’ll have to hope Quinn was just trying to get her onside. Or maybe she thinks bisexuality is just a GCSE in lesbianism. (It’s a foundation year at the very least).
Nixon deftly diffused Quinn’s misfire: “It’s true that I never received my certificate from the Department of Lesbian Affairs, though in my defense there’s a lot of paperwork required.” Witty, for sure, but maybe complaining about paperwork isn’t a good way to show off your organisational skills (just saying).
There was of course, back in 2013, Nixon’s own moment of scrutiny from the gay media when she said she felt her sexuality was a choice. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt and say she was very loosely articulating her own bisexuality, not confessing to political lesbianism. I’m fairly certain you can’t dictate what gets your knickers in a frenzy, but if women set your heart a-flutter as well as men, it becomes easier to write off one of them and let’s face it, it’s probably going to be men. Late life procurement of a girlfriend is increasingly hot in Hollywood (hello Maria Bello). Who’s to say that after decades of dating men, getting bored of them is a crime.
Quinn subsequently apologised for bringing sexuality into the conversational at all, but stands by her statement that in terms of the task at hand, Nixon is ‘unqualified’.
But Miranda — sorry, Cynthia — has name and face recognition on her side, which will no doubt boost her campaign and draw in votes. Yes, by trade, she is an actor, not a gubernatorial juggernaut. We may not have been watching Nixon’s campaigning efforts over the years, but we have at least been physically watching her for decades through our TV sets, making sure she’s been diligently Miranda-ing and not dealing arms on the side. And hey, if Nixon uses her acting chops to at least pretend she’s really good at being in power, then that’s more than you can say for a lot of politicians. Maybe she’s just someone who wants to make a difference and has enough money and fame to make a good effort at doing it. If the notion of a celebrated famous person with no political nous running for office makes you antsy just accept the world is pretty much already in the bin, and treat it like the spin-off show Miranda always deserved (minus Steve this time, thank God). Maybe this will inspire other positive career changes for queer celebrities. For example, Ben Whishaw would make a charming librarian, and I might go to the dentist more often if Kate McKinnon was my dentist. I guess we can definitely rule out SATC 3. Unless they recast Samantha and Miranda. Or just reboot the whole cast with obnoxious 20-somethings. Ah sod it, we’ve got Queer Eye now, we don’t need anything else.
