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    Now reading: What it’s like being a financial dominatrix during the cost-of-living crisis

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    What it’s like being a financial dominatrix during the cost-of-living crisis

    Across the UK findoms are struggling as the economy lurches towards recession.

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    Around 13 years ago, Shona, who is from the north west of England, left her job as a mortgage broker in the city to become a financial dominatrix, or ‘findom’. Her submissives – also known as ‘subs’ or ‘paypigs’ – get off on relinquishing control of their finances and showering her with gifts and money. Unsurprisingly, over the years the cash has flowed in. But in the past few months, Shona has noticed significant changes in her paypigs’ behaviour. As inflation soars to a staggering 9.9% in the UK, some clients have been unable to pay their mistress their usual financial gift – or ‘tribute’. “With findom services in particular, their weekly tributes are based on their surplus,” Shona explains, “and as their bills increase, the surplus available to tribute me decreases.” 

    More and more, she’s seeing paypigs ask if flexible tributes can be made, instead of more long-term commitments. “Perhaps they’re seeking ways to enjoy the slave lifestyle without the risk of losing it altogether in these uncertain times,” Shona speculates. And with her own energy bills rising, her longterm “adopt a bill” service – whereby Shona passes on her bills to a paypig – has become harder to justify. “It can appear as though I’m hiking the bill in some form of money-grab,” she says. “It’s a delicate balance.”

    Understandably, this has left her concerned about the future. “What’s particular to findom is the desire for many clients to see me living the ‘good life’ – to see me with large quantities of cash, wearing expensive clothing and jewellery,” she explains. “To diminish those things would be to change who I am, and what I offer.”

    The situation isn’t specific to Shona of course. Sex workers everywhere have been left feeling uncertain about their futures as the cost of living crisis continues to bite. Mistress Marley, a findom who founded the community Black Domme Sorority, worries that financial hardship will see dommes forced to “do something that’s out of their boundaries” — things like blackmailing clients at their request or overlooking their usual screenings for age verification and references (sex workers will often give references for former clients, to vouch for them and protect their colleagues). She points out that this problem is even more acute for marginalised people. “Black findoms deal with more pushback than anyone else in the industry, and our business models and prices are more likely to be questioned. We often have clients saying: ‘Well a white domme charges this much’.” As inflation worsens, so too will this kind of treatment, predicts Mistress Marley. 

    Another major issue facing sex workers is the influx of new people looking to join the industry amid the cost of living crisis, conversely contributing to the crisis for existing sex workers. The English Collective of Prostitutes – a grassroots organisation of sex workers campaigning for the decriminalisation of prostitution – said that calls to their helpline from women who have started doing sex work to help with costs of living surged by a third this summer. “I’m concerned about inflation, especially given the amount of new sex workers we are seeing run to the industry to make some extra money at the moment,” says Goddess Reign, a findom from Scotland. “The issue isn’t as much the clients leaving, but more the ratio of clients to dommes.” She puts this down to a widespread notion of findom as “a quick way of getting cash by doing nothing”.  According to Goddess Reign, this couldn’t be further from the truth: “It can be emotionally draining and can also very easily become a full-time job.” 

    Part of the allure of findom — and no doubt the reason more people are looking to get into it — is the idea that clients will pay up no matter what. It’s a fetish based on money, after all. There might be some truth to this: “It’s an addiction,” says Polskabratz of her paypigs. “It’s like smoking; those most addicted will continue to buy even if their addiction gets expensive.” Shona adds that there are some clients who will do anything to “honour the commitments they have made” to her — even when their finances are in dire straits. “They’ll take up delivery driving or flat packing to supplement their income. [Not paying me] is unthinkable to them.”

    That said, Shona doesn’t think that findom offers more security than other forms of sex work. This is largely to do with the nature of operating online. “It’s easier for [clients] to send less without having to have a discussion over it, which would be unlikely in booked in-person sex work encounters,” she says. “Fundamentally, if they do not have the money, they cannot spend it.”

    And while there’s a perception of paypigs as well-off, and therefore less susceptible to financial crises, this doesn’t necessarily reflect reality. “The majority of money I receive is coming straight out of people’s overdrafts, or bank loans,” says Sasha*, a UK-based findom. “Most people, in my experience, who engage in this are extremely unhappy, lonely, compulsive, and addicted. They feel completely out of control and unable to control their spending. A large number simply need the perceived intimacy and attention, and feel this is the only chance they have at getting it. For some clients, their poor financial decision making is part of their fetish.” 

    Yet while paypigs can make terrible financial decisions in pursuit of sexual satisfaction, they are also often — perhaps by necessity — savvy consumers. Sasha says she has been told by subs that they prefer to pay dommes from countries with less valuable currencies because they can stretch their budget further. She speculates that as inflation worsens, more paypigs will be seeking out these cheaper options which could, in turn, force some dommes to lower their prices. 

    It’s something some dommes are already doing, in fact, not just because of competition, but because of what they see as a duty of care towards their subs. “I’ve had to open up dialogue with them about budgets, I make sure to check up on my clients and whether they can still afford certain things, as their mental health is super important to me,” says Goddess Reign. “We’re not always in ‘sub space’ so to speak. In fact, I probably have more normal conversations with them than anything else.”
     

    Shona takes a similar approach, extending debt contracts and lower weekly payments for paypigs who are struggling. However, this will usually mean they get less time with her: “This is not out of spite but out of necessity, as my time and energy may need to be spent on promoting my services on other platforms or on new slaves and so replacing the shortfall,” she explains. She adds that while some clients might actively seek to have their bank drained, not all dommes are willing to do that. “I do not set out to financially ruin slaves or cause harm to any of them,” she explains. “If they want that extreme level of domination then they must look elsewhere.”

    But as times get tougher, other dommes are unwilling to compromise. Polskabratz has been upping her prices and demanding that subs pay up. “I did a tweet basically saying that ​submissives will be covering the impact of inflation, which is true with every service or product,” says Polskabratz. “The consumer always ends up covering extra costs and that’s how we see prices go up.” Mistress Marley is also reluctant to lower her prices, saying that it could open her up to “clients taking advantage and manipulation”.


    As more people feel the squeeze, without proper rights, many sex workers — particularly those from marginalised backgrounds and who’ve only recently started this line of work — will be vulnerable to clients’ demands and a newly overflowing industry. Left to fend for themselves, Mistress Marley stresses the importance of a community among dommes; somewhere sex workers can go to for advice. “There’s plenty of fundraising and foundations out there when it comes to sex workers who are struggling,” she says, “but what it really comes down to is unity.”

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