In case the thought of Donald Trump’s golden showers, Joseph Fiennes seriously un-PC impersonation of Michael Jackson, Kylie Jenner’s third nipple, Nutella’s removal from your local co-op, and whispers of the Queen’s deteriorating health weren’t enough to leave you stressed this month, to top it off, today is Friday the 13th. But instead of a night of Katherine Heigl rom-coms, we’ve decided to face up to the music (the eerie, orchestral music of a classic horror that is) and embrace the fear with these five frightening films. Prepare to be Netflix and chilled to the very bone.
Beetlejuice
Did someone just say “Beetlejuice” three times? Cos Tim Burton’s rambunctious spirit is back with a vengeance. Or at least he will be now that the 80s classic is getting a reboot. But why wait for the sequel when the original was just so darn good? Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.
The Craft
Now is the time. This is the hour. Ours is the magic. Ours is the power. Channelling the supernatural forces of the great Manon, four young witches navigate their way through snakes, suicide, and frisky high school jerks in this coming of age classic.
Final Destination
Having a bad day? Feel like the whole world is turning against you? Well, things could be a lot worse. No Friday the 13th could be complete without a film devoted to the most unlucky moments conceivable. You might’ve forgotten your umbrella this morning, but at least an elaborate sequence of events on a train track didn’t lead to your untimely decapitation before work!
Mars Attacks!
A lesser known Tim Burton classic, the sardonic Mars Attacks! — with its A-list cast and cheap but cheerful special effects — is the perfect antidote to the homogenous, slick but soulless sci-fi epics dominating our screens these days. Then again, with all that’s happening on Earth right now, the idea of an alien invasion may no longer seem such a terrifying prospect after all.
Friday the 13th
Duh.