What are you doing this Friday, sweet fashion fans? If you have half a clue, you’ll be reading this surprisingly exhaustive chronicle by The Guardian, which took a break from reporting on our impending doom, to report about Kylie Jenner’s summer vacation. Jenner was last seen on her Instagram stories announcing her out of office (with a sponsored post for Happy Tea nonetheless), before boarding a million dollar a week superyacht. The Tranquility, which cost $126m to construct, features “a swimming pool, jacuzzi, sauna, Turkish bath, an “experiential shower”, a cinema and helicopter landing pad,” according to the newspaper of note. And this is after Travis Scott covered their house in roses for her birthday — she’s turning 22, which is evidently the new 21.
Even more fabulously, the yacht was previously owned by a fugitive billionaire called Jho Low (not J.Lo, although she would make a great tycoon on the run in some sort of buddy comedy). Low’s location is currently unknown, after he was accused of stealing from a Malaysian sovereign fund, in part to fund The Wolf of Wall Street. The plot thickens indeed! Kylie, however, is very much not on the run, except for from the pressures of fame and young billionaire-dom. She’s even brought her mom, which is to be expected from the Jenner-Kardashian clan. We shall imagine Kylie and her ilk setting sail from the picturesque Italian town Positano, the wind in their immaculate manes, as we sweat, dankly, on the subway to the Rockaways this weekend, and dine upon hotdogs with sand on.