Before Shawn Mendes was on Snapchat that fateful day, he was on YouTube first. The then 17-year-old was doing normal teenager things, like scrolling through clips on the popular video sharing platform, but also doing decidedly un-normal teenager things, namely, re-watching interview clips of himself that were uploaded to the site.
But something else caught his eye that day, beyond the answers he gave in the interview or what he was wearing in the clips or what talk show or event or backstage concert he was attending at the time. And Shawn Mendes, at 17 years old, finally snapped.
“I don’t usually do this and bring up problems,” he said, in a chopped up, minute-long clip posted on Snapchat, “but I was on YouTube just watching some of my interviews and I was going down the comments and noticed a lot of people were saying that I give them a ‘gay vibe.’ First of all,” he continued, “I’m not gay. Second of all, it shouldn’t made a difference if I was or if I wasn’t. The focus should be on the music and not my sexuality.”
Though he should have been celebrating his new new single (“Treat You Better,” which is still his highest-charting song to date) and prepping for his first-ever world tour, the singer felt the need to defend himself publicly from online commenters and to clarify his sexual orientation, at an age when many people are still worrying about handing in their homework late and waiting for their first kiss.
Two years later, Mendes had to declare, again, that he wasn’t gay, in the latest issue of Rolling Stone. Asked about the “thorny” issue (the magazine’s words, not his), Mendes was surprisingly candid, admitting he often feels the need to be seen with a girl in public, to prove that he’s not gay. Worse still, Mendes says he “felt sick” after seeing a video that Taylor Swift had posted to social media of herself applying glittery makeup to Mendes’ face. Even though he had okay-ed the clip (and considers Swift a friend), he regretted it immediately after. “I was like, ‘Fuck, why did I let her post that?’” he tells the magazine. “I just fed the fire that I’m terrified of.”
Let’s just pause right here and make it clear: Shawn Mendes is not gay. He says he’s not gay and we should take him at his word. But as rumors continue to persist, here’s a thought we’d like to introduce: What if Mendes wasn’t gay, but just really really Canadian?
From Justin Trudeau to Ryan Gosling to Drake, the image of the swooning, sensitive Canadian hunk has been memed more times than the population of Saskatchewan (Full disclosure: I am not a hunk, but I am Canadian). Sure there are exceptions (we’re looking at you Bieber), but the idea that a man has to be loud, aggressive, and in-your-face in order to win or succeed in life has never been the Canadian M.O.
Think about Drake, perhaps Canada’s most prolific musical ambassador, who’s long been tagged with the “sensitive rapper” label. When the self-proclaimed “6 God” found himself entangled in a “feud” with rapper Pusha-T earlier this year, the Internet swiftly handed him an “L” after Pusha revealed that Drake had secretly fathered a son with a porn star. Instead of fighting back — either lyrically or physically — Drake did perhaps the most Canadian thing of all: he released a Degrassi-themed music video. And just like that, the feud was over.
While others prove their worth by trumping their status or through energetic proclamations, Canadians are inherently more soft-spoken and content to let things play out on their own time. When Mendes walked the red carpet with Hailey Baldwin at the Met Gala this year, he held her hand, guided her up the steps and fixed her dress. Photos show them with his arm around her waist, all the while keeping a respectful distance lest their posing be interpreted as lewd or inappropriate. Sometimes, as with Mendes, that confuses people, who conflate “gentleness” with “gayness,” and “ quiet” with “queer.” Most often though, the descriptors are both mutually acceptable, and mutually exclusive. In other words: he’s not a nice guy because he’s gay – he’s just a really nice guy.
“Shawn Mendes is not how you expect a teen sensation to turn out,” posits Duhin Nanda, a host on YTV (think a Canadian version of Nickelodeon) and an entertainment contributor for Canadian network, CTV. “He’s polite, well-spoken, well-behaved, and somehow humble and relatable despite the ridiculous amount of fame he’s experiencing.”
Nanda cites the number of times he’s seen Mendes stopping to take selfies with fans, and also an example relayed to him by a female colleague, who says Mendes personally walked her to the door after the interview was over and said goodbye with a friendly hug.
“Every single person I know who has interviewed him says the same thing,” Nanda says: “they are blown away by his professionalism and kindness.”
The idea that Canadian men are extra chivalrous and respectful shouldn’t immediately be chalked up to stereotype. “Taking a socio-cultural lens, I think there’s a Canadian sentiment of being open and respecting of differences,” says Sarah Wootten, a Toronto-based psychologist whose Ph.D. in Clinical and Counseling Psychology focused on factors related to well-being after anti-LGBT hate crimes and discrimination. “I think that partly comes from being a country of immigrants. We’re taught to not assume where someone has come from, and to take people at face value.”
“Discrimination exists here too, obviously, but it’s less culturally acceptable,” Wootten says. “We don’t focus, as much anyway, on what makes us different from each other.”
The Canadian musician and host, Shad, agrees. “I do think Canadian culture is more gentle and more earnest,” says Shad, the former host of the Canadian arts and music radio program, Q and current host of Netflix’s Hip-Hop Evolution. “It’s like the way we famously say ‘sorry’ all the time. Culturally, we value politeness, gentleness, and more quiet displays of strength or desire — even for men.”
While the idea that Canadians are so nice is a maple syrup-sweet sentiment that seemingly rings true (A 2018 survey from travel and networking site, InterNations, placed Canada as one of the “Top 10 Friendliest Countries” in the world, while the U.S. came in at #36 and the UK at #56), assigning a sexual orientation to the same random traits of kindness is where it gets dangerous.
By constantly bringing up his sexuality, fans and critics (and yes, Internet trolls) are feeding into the preconceived notion that you can’t be soft and straight. But Mendes has so far refused to take the bait.
In the Snapchat video, which, in a full circle millennial moment, was eventually uploaded onto YouTube, Mendes stresses that he’s not frustrated that people think he’s gay, but rather, “frustrated because in this day and age, people have the audacity to write online that I’m gay as if it were a bad thing.”
In his interview with Rolling Stone, Mendes is even more direct. “You fucking guys are so lucky I’m not actually gay and terrified of coming out,” he recalls thinking to himself. “That’s something that kills people. That’s how sensitive it is. Do you like the songs? Do you like me? Who cares if I’m gay?”
Whether you’re a teen idol or just a regular Molson Canadian Joe, your sexual preference should never be open season for people to take shots at. Yet the fact that Mendes is not afraid to address the rumors about his orientation, but also embrace it as a talking point, brings up another quintessentially Canadian trope: the desire to help others.
“Shawn has always been outspoken about his love for the LGBTQ community and how much he respects their struggle,” Nanda says. “We also know that Shawn works very closely with producer Teddy Geiger who was transitioning while they were making music together. Shawn has been outspoken about how much he learned from her and how grateful he is – something a closeted gay man may not be able to speak about so openly.”
Shad concurs. “I’m proud of how he responded,” he says. “I like to think that young Canadians stand up against homophobia, as he did. And I also like that he kept it brief and maintained a level of privacy about his personal life — also a very Canadian thing to do.”
Just last week, Mendes was pictured on Camila Cabello’s Instagram page seemingly braiding her hair while the “Havana” singer sits on the floor. A few days prior, Mendes had shared snaps of life on the road, including photos of him wearing a sheet mask on his face, alongside a male friend. As expected, the commenters were out in full force, though the tone and focus of their messages had changed. “I love the friendship between you guys,” one girl wrote about Mendes and Cabello. “What kind of mask is that and where can I get one?” wrote another.
Mendes hasn’t said much about either photo (“Random filmmmm” he captioned the pics from life on tour), but it’s almost as if he doesn’t care what people think or have to say anymore, because why should he? He knows who he is and what he likes and it might not always conform to the straight male stereotype, but that’s the thing about stereotypes isn’t it? They’re just a simplified attempt to label someone so that everyone else feels more comfortable with themselves and the situation. But people are multifaceted and our lives are complicated, and if everyone was shoved into these narrow boxes, there would be no room to grow. (We should point out here that not all Canadians are nice – there are some bad seeds in our McIntosh apples too).
“Ultimately,” says Wootten, “what we all want is to be able to define and explore all the parts of our identities for ourselves and on our own terms. When someone imposes a label or expectation on our identities, it takes away a part of our autonomy.”
Mendes is still just 20 years old, but you get the sense he’s more in touch with himself than many artists twice his age. And his ability to articulate his insecurities, learn from them, and then move forward, is the real story we should be paying attention to.
“He’s the most normal guy trying his best to live the most normal life despite being in the most abnormal circumstances,” Nanda says. “But every time I hear about a gay kid being bullied in school or a woman experiencing sexual assault from a male, I hope we can have more men like Shawn Mendes inspiring young boys, redefining the image of masculinity, what it means to be attractive, and what it means to be a real man.”