What’s scarier than Greek yoghurt guacamole? Netflix has another top contender with Don’t Watch This, a surprise short horror anthology of five episodes, one of which is an American Psycho remake starring Queer Eye’s avant-garde dip enthusiast Antoni Porowski. Epitomizing the under-explored self care horror genre, it starts off with Antoni going about his daily ritual of plant-watering, Greek yoghurt face masks, and a few exercises including but not limited to core-strengthening reps. So far, probably not so different to his normal morning ritual — except then things start to move in an increasingly dark direction. Also, this might not be the best ad for his newly opened NYC restaurant. At least not if you’re vegan.
Don’t Watch This was made in collaboration with Crypt TV and the producers of Haunted, a ridiculous yet chilling series where people sit down with their friends and tell them they’re haunted by ghosts. Other episodes include “CTRL+ALT+DELETE,” where “a dark web villain who preys on internet trolls lures a spiteful hacker into a dangerous VR game,” and “Friendship Bracelet,” where a social outcast teen’s quest to have cool friends goes (you guessed it) very wrong. The most terrifying episode isn’t so focused on plotlines — Incommodum is basically just a bunch of surreal dream sequences featuring eyelashes and dismembered dolls. It’s almost as eerily beautiful as Antoni’s immaculately appointed American Colonial designed by Bobby Berk — yes, his Queer Eye co-star — accessible only to old money and deeply connected locals.
Don’t Watch This is streaming here.