Anytime someone with the emotional intelligence of an eight-year-old ends a relationship on the basis that the other party has “daddy issues”, a fairy dies. Daddy issues is, of course, the recognised shorthand for Freud’s father complex, those unconscious impulses and associations pertaining to the image of our dad. Since daddy issues entered the cultural lexicon, it’s been doing the rather nefarious work of diluting the complex psychological impact of having an emotionally (or physically) absent father. It’s also another pop culture term that hurts women in particular, making their trauma into a watered-down, memeable little soundbite.
Luckily, all of the above might soon cease to be true. With films like Aftersun winning both commercial and critical praise, it’s clear that there’s an appetite for delving a little deeper: for exploring the relationships between children and their fathers in a way that neither reduces it to a punchline nor allows someone to indulge in their creepy incest fantasies (*cough* The Loved Ones *cough*). We’ve now got films which actually speak to the all-too familiar experience of having a shoddy dad. And with that comes audiences that are not only wanting more, but are curious about the ones that paved the way.
Without further ado, here’s seven films that are giving daddy issues (or exploring what daddy issues really are).
1. Scrapper (2023)
Scrapper follows Georgie (Lola Campbell in her acting debut), a 12-year-old that’s living alone and grappling with her mum’s death, when her estranged dad (Harris Dickinson) turns up. Scrapper is the only film on this list which straight-up asks the question that everyone with dad-related abandonment issues wants to ask: why did you leave me? Though jumping right to the core of the issue might, for some, seem almost too easy, it’s a move from writer and director Charlotte Regan that illustrates just how dedicated she is to evoking a child’s perspective. It’s also a question that paves the way for Scrapper to be a refreshingly joyous update of a kitchen sink drama. As the film develops, we watch Georgie and her dad’s relationship flourish.
2. Somewhere (2010)
Somewhere follows disillusioned actor Johnny Marco (Stephen Dorff) as he re-examines his life when his daughter Cleo (Elle Fanning) unexpectedly visits. Johnny is, without a shadow of a doubt, an absent father. While Sofia Coppola doesn’t dig too deep into how that affects Cleo, what the film does so beautifully is create a believable relationship between the two characters. The film’s satire of shallow celebrity culture is punctuated by moments of genuine connection that capture the minutiae of the father-daughter relationship. Best of all, it’s got a scene where some twins do a tennis-themed pole dance routine to Amerie’s “1 Thing”. That, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with dads, but it’s great nonetheless.
3. The Squid and the Whale (2005)
Noah Baumbach’s The Squid and the Whale manages to squeeze in all three aspects of the bad dad trifecta. Bernard Berkman (Jeff Daniels) is pompous, unappreciative of his wife and kids, and has no qualms about getting it on with someone 20 years his junior. Set against the backdrop of 1980s New York, The Squid and the Whale follows Walt and Frank Berkman (Jesse Eisenburg and Owen Kline) as they deal with the fallout of their parents’ divorce. The daddy issues are plain to see in this film: Walt mirrors his dad’s treatment of women in his own relationships, and Frank develops a thing for public masturbation. Noah’s endeavor to “give the film an authentic 1980s feel” also led to it being shot entirely on 16mm: the result is something that feels nostalgic and, most of all, real.
4. Toni Erdmann (2016)
What if the cardinal sin of being a rubbish dad wasn’t up and leaving, or delving into alcoholism, but simply being completely embarrassing? That’s essentially the premise of Toni Erdmann, the German comedy-drama directed by Maren Ade. The film follows career-driven, meticulous Ines and how her life is upended when her dad Winifred reappears on the scene. While that probably sounds run of the mill when it comes to dad-centric narratives, what complicates matters in Ade’s film is that Winifred repeatedly pops in some false teeth and becomes his offbeat alter-ego, the titular Toni Erdmann. The film has that same cringe-inducing quality as Ruben Östlund’s The Square, all the while being the better (and funnier) predecessor to Sofia Coppola’s On the Rocks.
5. Bicycle Thieves (1948)
Vittoria De Sica’s Italian neorealist classic Bicycle Thieves is proof of two things. Number one, that daddy issues were still around in 1948. Number two, that daddy issues don’t always stem from “bad” dads. The film’s principal dad, Antonio, has unwavering love for his family. He even spends the entirety of the film with his son, getting into all sorts of hijinks while trying to retrieve his bike. It’s those hijinks, however, that peel back the veneer of how a parent-child dynamic should be. Bruno, the son, quickly becomes painfully aware of the sacrifices that Antonio makes for him: as he watches on with horror as his dad is repeatedly humiliated and degraded, it’s like witnessing all the childlike naivety and innocence leave his body.
6. The Shining (1980)
Being told that someone out there probably has worse daddy issues than you isn’t going to help you feel better about your own. That said, at least your Dad isn’t as bad as The Shining’s Jack Torrance, played by Jack Nicholson. Though Stanley Kubrick’s classic horror is sure to appear on list after list of the best scary flicks, it’s neglected as a prominent entry when it comes to films about fathers. Its setting — the isolated and very haunted Overlook Hotel — is, really, the only appropriate setting for evoking the experience of having an alcoholic, angry dad. Danny’s psychic abilities — the “shining” in question — are also a fitting allegory for the mental and emotional challenges that a child may face when dealing with a difficult father. Here’s Johnny! And here’s a hefty therapy bill about 20 years down the line!
7. The Tree of Life (2011)
Daddy issues, but make it span the history of the universe. In Terrence Malick’s The Tree of Life, Jack O’Brien’s tumultuous relationship with his domineering father (Brad Pitt) is framed by bigger philosophical questions around what it means to be alive. Grappling with whether human existence is inherently full of wonder (or inherently the complete opposite) Jack’s formative memories in 1950s Texas are paralleled by surreal moments with dinosaurs and the very beginnings of the cosmos. Even if the genre-bending, experimental style of The Tree of Life isn’t your thing, Emmanuel Lubezki’s characteristic cinematography does a pretty good job at evoking the disorientating, almost seasick feeling that comes with having a crap dad all on its own.