I live in a city where things change fast — rent prices, fashion trends, it girls and hot spots, they all come and go in New York City. Sex, though, is always a constant. In fact, sex is everything. Despite the constant cultural shifts of our current world, it’s a topic everyone around me — online and IRL — can’t stop talking about. After all, sex is therapy: the wonders of a “good dick down” are scientifically proven. According to a recent study, COVID-19 and its subsequent lockdowns “dramatically impacted” our sexual health, but people who were getting laid at the time were less anxious and depressed. I’ve witnessed the positive effects of a proper fuck — in real time — both in my own life, and that of my very sexually active friends. Therapy is a great resource for mental health, but sex helps with life’s load… pun heavily intended.
After a year, or three (depending on one’s approach) of mandated lockdowns, an increase in sexual experimentation among the sexually active makes perfect sense, but promiscuity is not always the common thread. Take T, a 27-year-old Cancer and e-commerce professional, who is “not so much interested” in random hookups in a post-pandemic world, as much as he’s leaning into dating and finding meaningful connections. “Isolation fucked with my head and I’m still working through co-dependency issues,” he says.
Still, walking through the Lower East Side or the parks in Brooklyn, the vibes are sexy — everyone looks like they’re DTF, or at the very least, flirt. As the world goes up in flames — the reversal of Roe v Wade; the rising price of, well, everything, thanks to the recession; the threat of Monkeypox; the climate crisis and the resurgence of polio (!) — we’re beginning to wonder how horny young people are dealing with the alarming public health situations attacking our sexual sovereignty. Not to mention the excruciating state of modern dating culture, courtesy of ‘the apps’. This, girls, boys and dolls, is why we’re introducing Generation Sex, a regular column to answer all your unfiltered sex and relationships questions. Let’s pop this cherry and get things started…
Are people masturbating with more frequency these days? Are people fucking more, or less? How do you fuck safely? Is it possible to get laid and not die? Is it PC to fuck an anti-vaxxer? Does any of this matter when you’re horny AF and the world is LITERALLY ending?
I may not have all the answers, but these questions flood my mind as I talk to friends and real people navigating the very harsh and confusing reality of getting laid in 2022. All while simultaneously watching (and re-watching) episodes of a show where four modern women proudly fuck their way around New York City in Manolo Blahnik heels, of course.
Overall, yes, we are all having less sex. The world is shit, and sometimes you just can’t get it up. A study conducted by the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior confirms it, reporting that “heterosexual intercourse and anal sex reported declines” between the years of 2009 and 2018. In 2019, before the suits on Wall Street could predict our current economic decline, the British Medical Journal suggested a “sex recession” was imminent among millennials and Gen Z. Some blame woke culture, others blame the internet and some adhere to the “general malaise of life under capitalism” theory, which states that we’re just all poorer and more depressed than ever before. Yet as a constellation of unprecedented events attack our generation and those to come, we’re still finding a way to get laid; with precaution, though. Take for example the slew of new hook up apps, which prioritise no-strings-attached encounters over, you know, emotions and all that.
As Zachary Zane, a hot and hairy 31-year-old Gemini sex and relationships writer tells me, “I’m someone who’s very into group play (group sex and sex parties), but I’m putting that on hold for now.” In the words of the prophet Lady Gaga, “Daddy, I’m so sorry, We just like to party… We’re beautiful,” but not stupid. For obvious reasons — Elon Musk’s many kids, that picture that NASA released or the suspicious death of Ivana Trump — some people are skipping sex and are literally taking matters into their own hands. Frontiers Psychology, a prestigious sex health organization, practically concludes that masturbation is so in. One of their latest reports notes “an increase in using sex toys, pornography consumption, masturbating and sexual experimentation.” My friend T agrees, he masturbates quite often — at least once or twice a day, he tells me. Not bad for a girl with no talent, right? Sometimes all you need is to let go and wank it off.
Though our culture is undergoing an era of sexual health hyper-awareness, global pandemics, social revolutions and world wars couldn’t stop horny folks from getting laid, especially during the summer, when steamy nights are abundant. The streets are hot, both figuratively and literally; the air feels supercharged with sexual electricity. Summer is, without a doubt, one of the best times to have a good time. “When summer 2020 hit and COVID was partially halted, I was very active and did A LOT of experimenting,” a 25-year-old Gemini (and fellow party girl), who would like to be referred to as ‘The Gen Z Samantha Jones,’ tells me. “I actually don’t think that my sex life will ever be more active than it was during the pandemic.”
For some queer individuals, it’s not COVID or Monkeypox that’s the main concern, it’s safety. Ysak, a 29-year-old Virgo nightlife vixen, part-time musician and bartender, shared with me that she’s often faced with violent and ignorant requests while browsing the apps. “Usually, when I’m going to have sex, I’m more concerned if the guy I’m hooking up with is gonna kill me,” she says. “A guy literally told me he wanted to rape me the other day. He used it as his pick up line. You’d think it would put you off from casual sex, but a girl needs to get turned out and risks are just taken.”
Even though the smart folks that do science may say sex is so yesterday, some of us are going as far as risking our lives to get the D. The streets are talking and sex is the word, baby — just not without getting jabbed first. “I’m no longer going to gay sex parties until I get both doses of the Monkeypox vaccine,” Zane says. “I still am, however, hooking up with guys from apps.” When I asked him, a sexpert who has a lot of sex, how to do so safetly in our current moment, I learned a new term: “Safer sex.” Apparently, sexual professionals have adopted it over “safe sex” because “no type of sex is without risks,” Zane explains. “It always has been and was before COVID-19 and Monkeypox.”
Of course, the necessary precautions still apply if we wish to continue living la vida loca: get tested regularly for STIs (resources here), dare to make a move and have regular sex with only one person; a friend, crush or that non-vaxxed hottie you won’t tell anyone about because, you know, cancel culture. And please, don’t kiss (too many) strangers. Clearly, we’re all having sex, and lots of it, despite what science says.
“I forgot how many hot guys there are out there and sort of made it a mission to hookup with as many as possible…” my PR friend, ‘The Samantha Jones of Gen Z’ tells me. This, my friends, is Generation Sex.
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